My first meeting with my spiritual director was nothing less than excellent. To many it may seem like counseling, but I assure you it's a little different. I kept mentioning the word streams when I was describing my life at the moment, that I'm involved in many different streams. My director asked why I used that metaphor. I never really thought about why I use the word streams, but it definitely made me think a little.
I am paying more attention to God's voice within those streams. I still feel odd not knowing what direction God has for me next. Some "stream" that's been coming to the surface recently is a few people randomly telling me I'd be a good elementary teacher. I have been really taken aback by those comments because they have come at completely random moments without any prompting within those conversations. After you hear that a few times you begin to pay attention a little more. A school teacher is something I would def. be interested in, although I'd love to teach a Bible class over regular school things. I have no idea what it means but we'll see.
In the meantime, I have applied for seminary and see where that road leads. Because of the particular school loan I have, I would have to be at least three-quarters time to get my loan deferred. That means normally about 9 credit hours. My friend Joe is currently going to seminary taking 9 credits and I know he's immersed in studying all of the time. I'd be curious to see what happens with all of the other things I am doing.
Moving on, the final thing that was pointed out was something I definitely needed to hear. It was the phrase, "God saved us from a lot of pain by taking us out of the churches we served when He did." He told me to focus on "God saved us from a lot of pain." One of the difficult things in my life that Satan has used has been the fact that my longest tenure at a church has been 3 years. You almost get the feeling that most churches talk down about that on a resume. I can understand to a point. I wish I could tell the story of all 3 of my experiences, but being that other people from those churches read this blog I really can't divulge too much that way. Maybe if you e-mail I'd be willing to share, but not here.
Regardless, God had called us to each one of those places, and God took us out of each one of those places, saving us from more pain that we had already experienced. I don't understand a lot of this journey, but God has been good to us in this regard. I guess I just never really thought of it that way before.
We are in a place right now where we're given time to heal. I have no idea how long that healing will take.
A final thing in regards to spiritual direction is something a friend of mine pointed out a couple of weeks ago, that I still had a destination/arrival mentality to my life instead of a journey. What that means is that I am sitting here waiting for "that thing" to arrive to say that I've finally moved on/made it. For me, maybe "that thing" is getting back into full-time vocational paycheck ministry. I've felt like anytime I'm not there I am still not where I am supposed to be. But what about today? What does a journey mentality look like. Where I am at now is experiences that I need to continue moving forward. I just need to become more aware of that, and fight off the destination/arrival mentality. When I start thinking in destination/arrival terms, I start to get really depressed.
Well, enough for now, gotta get ready to go to Mars.
Joe loves school but pretty much all he does is study, work and hang out with us! Like I said He loves it! As much as you enjoy reading you probably would enjoy it as well!!
UPDATE**I switched the author name to Erica*** Mike :)
Posted by: Erica | September 23, 2007 at 11:33 PM
That last comment was posted by me. I am not sure why Joe's name was in my comment fields!
Posted by: Erica | September 23, 2007 at 11:34 PM