Soul Renovatus

A great movie for how parents should react to their teen getting pregnant...

Just saw Juno last night.  Incredible movie. It was pretty much like Gilmore Girls on steroids.  I laughed so hard much of the time!  In case you don't know, Juno is about a 16-yr girl who gets pregnant, then decides to give her baby up for adoption.  It's a great journey all the way through, with some great dialogue and hilarious one-liners. 

Anyway, what Julia and I were talking about last night is how Juno's parents reacted to her telling them she was pregnant.  We were saying that the her parent's acted should be an example of how all parents should approach their child.  It was honest, yet affirming, and extremely supportive.  It's one of those moments where I know I would show at some parenting seminar regarding those types of things. 

Go watch the movie if you haven't.  It's a lot of fun to watch.  One of my favorite lines when Juno's about to have her baby and she wants an epidural (I'm paraphrasing right now):

Juno: I want the spinal tap man!

Stepmom:  No, honey, the doctor said he can't give it to you because you're not dilated enough yet.

Juno: I thought doctors were supposed to help people!

Stepmom: No, doctors are sadists who just want to see lesser people suffer.

I'm just a...

"I'm just a..."

It was interesting.  I was at the Talking Points at Grand Rapids Theological Seminary, where they were talking through the future of youth ministry. You can download all 3 talks here. Steve Argue, who is the Executive Director of Contextual Learning there and a participant of Mars Hill, gave a stunning message on how youth ministry must become closer.  I told him that every youth leader should listen to it period.

Being there was a little surreal for me, now that I don't get a paycheck anymore.  You've heard my stuff before on what I've been going through with that.  I remember the first presenter going through and asking who was paid staff, who were part-time, and then who were the volunteers, to which there's this applause in the room.  It always happens this way, but part of me was saying, "I'm just a volunteer, and that's just something you're doing to make us feel like we're part of who you are."

Again, it's position talk...status talk.

I started reflecting on how many times I said this, "I'm just a..."  Do you ever think about that?  It's funny, because even as a paid youth worker I found myself saying things like, "I'm just a youth pastor with a small group", or even if I had 120 kids, "I just have 120 kids." I would always hold this measuring stick out.

Marko even asked, "How many of you have been fired from your church?"  I reluctantly raised my hand.  I felt so ashamed as I looked about at the other 10-15 hands out of 300. 

Even sitting with the Mars Hill Student Ministries staff was bringing up feelings like I should sit somewhere else, or even at the lunch table felt like I should leave so they could have a real discussion.  I know many of things are my own perceptions, lies, and projections.  But that was the feeling yesterday. 

But I hear this talk everywhere.  "I'm just a Sunday-school teacher." "I'm just a small group volunteer."  "I'm just someone who...." 

The Bible is filled with this too, and sometimes it isn't yourself that says it.  "Aren't these just those unschooled fisherman from the Galilee?"  Or what about Moses, David, or Esther?   I'm paying attention more to this statement, because deep down its rooted in something that says that we really don't think God thinks we're good enough.  That God doesn't think we're as important as someone else.

Please hear me when I say that is a flat-out lie.  God delights in you period, no matter what you do.  Nothing is ever going to change that.  Sure, He gives some more responsibility.  Remember the parable of the talents.  He gave one guy 5, another 3, and another 1?  Was the point to BE the guy with five talents?  No!  The point was to do something with the talents he gave you.  All of the work is significant.  You can't tell me that a youth ministry with 2000 students isn't as important as one with 2.  The great story of God is that one person can literally change the world.  Who knows where that person comes from?

So, please, for the love of God, please stop asking how many kids are in your particular ministries when you get together.  There is nothing in that that has anything to do with a person's worth or effectiveness.  Deep down you know when people ask that question all you are doing is putting out the measuring stick to either feel better about yourself or to feel like you're not good enough.  And even worse, you facilitate the same thing for the other person. 

I could care less how many kids you have in your ministry.  What I want to know is how many have fallen head over heels for Jesus?  How many are embracing the path of descent, and not ascent?

As one of the guys in my accountability group told me a couple of weeks ago, "Don't sell yourself short."  It seems to me it is the never-changing story is that God uses the "just-a's" to do extraordinary things.

But why listen to me?  I'm just a volunteer now.

Why I stopped going to youth group...

A student reflects on why she's not going to youth group anymore.  I read this and know one student that is currently at our church who could have written this verbatim.  It is something all who are in youth ministry need to think about.

A revelation about my niche...

I've had a whirlwind of a month, if you read a couple posts ago, on my schedule.

There have been many things I've been wanting to tell you but can't at the moment.  I will let you know in a couple of weeks.

However, the one thing over this last month has been a new revelation for me...or maybe I should say it's been more intense than anything previously. 

I've been MC'ing for Group Workcamps Foundation for about the last 7 years, and speaking here and there are various retreats, conferences, and such.  I spoke at the IMPACT festival here in Central PA last week, and while I was sitting on the bench, I was overwhelmed with this sense about what I just did...

...I was made to do this.

I started reflecting on this last month, the numerous comments I received..."You're a natural at this."  "You were wired to do this."  "God moved through you in powerful ways, like none I've ever seen."  Comments like that.  Every time I do things like that I hear those things.  When I was done last week, I just felt a sense that I am really wired to do what I just did.  It  was the first time I was overwhelmed with that strong of a presence.  It felt like that if I don't do what I just did, I would be unfaithful to who I was made to be.  I don't know if any of you know what I'm talking about, but that was what I was thinking. 

In a couple of weeks, I will fill in the rest of the story, and all of these things (with many more questions) will start to come together.  We are in midst of making huge decisions about our lives (my family and I), and we just trying to figure out what God is up to here.

Please pray for clarity, for continued direction, and the space just to rest in God's presence.

I will tell you more later.

On Mission trips...

I'm in Estes Park, CO at a training event for Group Workcamps Foundation, which does short-term youth mission trips.  I've been an MC/Song Leader for them for about 7 years now.  This training event is one of the highlights of my year.  Getting together with a bunch of other emcees is just a good time.  I have my best ab workout of the year here from laughing so much.  Most of the returning emcees always mention this time being one of the best and most refreshing times of the year.  I agree.

I was also thinking about the whole concept of the short-term mission trips.  Most youth ministries go away for a week somewhere, enjoy and incredible experience, and then come back to home.  There are so many stories I've heard that mention that nothing else ever happens in regards to mission when they get back home, and then they are all excited to go on the next mission trip to get "recharged." 

Am I the only one bothered by this?  I think about the many communities I've been too, and I'm curious on what the churches do from there when we leave.  Then I think about what we do in our own communities and why there isn't more done there in addition to going on these trips.  Now look, I think it's very important to go to a place outside of your cultural context (esp. out of country) short-term to get a glimpse of a different set of lenses, but how does this translate to your way of life?  Of being missional?  What would it look like for churches to committ long-term to a community (and there are many that do) instead of just going to all different places all of the time.

I had a friend of mine mention to me last night that he was in Ecuador, and they told him to quit coming.  Not because they didn't want him there, but because the people there were totally capable of building houses.  What they needed was the money to do it.  While I think it's vital for us as Americans to go cross-cultural to experience something outside of what we know, I am sensitive on how colonial of an approach we can have to missions.

I am curious on what the solution is.  How can we be a better presence to these places? Even more, what is a good perspective/theology to have on short-term mission trips?

Now, I don't want you to think that God can't work through 1-week trips like this.  God can do whatever He wants in however way He wants in ways we think it won't even work.  He is God.  But I wonder if we have been promoting something to our students that might not be the healthiest long term; that we should take only a week to push ourselves out of our comfort zones and then come back waiting for next summer to come when the next trip comes, instead of finding a way to promote being a missional person.  I guess the question is asking, "What kind of person are we becoming?" 

And I know many people who have been forever changed by these experiences.  So I'm not doggin' that, I've just been around the mill enough to see so many other churches miss the point.

Just curious.

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They don't do that in church...

Tonight was one of the best nights of my tenure as a youth pastor.

We have this thing...or organized chaos...or whatever you want to call it on Wednesday night.  We serve a meal to the community for free, and then about 120 students off the street show up.  These are students who normally don't want to have anything to do with church.  It has been wonderful watching the evolving of our relationship as they continue to get to know us and vice versa.

Before I talk about tonight, there was a moment last Wednesday night where the guys were playing basketball, and a couple of the guys that were playing were kind of hogging the ball between themselves.  About three of the guys came storming out, ticked that they didn't get to touch the ball that much, and complained, "This is our &$*%*$ church!  Who do they think they are?  We even come on Sundays? What are they doin'?"  Freakin' hilarious!  These are students who are so raw, who normally wouldn't want to have anything to do with church, but I am seeing how much more they are loving being around the people. 

So...tonight, we hosted a local band for a concert.  Not really Christian at all, seemingly quite the opposite actually.  Some in our church were worried if they would be singing "the right lyrics" and such.  We have known these guys for two years.  First thing we said to them was that we wanted them to play their music.  I also told them not to be dropping F-bombs and such.  I told them if the radio can do it, they can do it.  They were totally excited to play. 

So a ton of people showed up tonight.  We asked for $2 for admission just to give these guys some more money.  It was so encouraging to hear some older adults who were there mention that the guys had the utmost respect for us and talked about us all of the time. 

I was thinking about the relationships that we've built, and the fact that when we asked them to play, they were excited.  I mean...I don't think I could ever done this in any other place I've been.  I'd have to jump through a thousand hoops to do it.  Of course, I really don't know how many people really know we did this tonight.  But regardless, the people in our community heard the words loud and clear tonight as I was up front during intermission, "We believe God is a God of creativity, and we want to provide space for that here."  It was good to hear my friend share his story a little.  He's a guy who just isn't the church type at all, but 3 years ago gave over his life to following Jesus and now is like a freakin' wildfire.  It was him who had all of the connections in the community to make this happen. He said, "I think if you know me, and who I was, you can understand very quickly that this is not your normal church."  I just smiled.  It was a great moment tonight.  It's beautiful to watch the students open up more about their lives, what they're wrestling with, and realizing we really do care about them.

I mean, why are we so afraid of stuff like this?  I am amazed at the whole idea of our faith being a "don't do this" kind of journey.  Look, it's not like I'm saying that all of "those things" are okay to do, but really, where does grace fit in the picture?  How do we love and care for others who really don't believe in following Jesus?  Maybe we celebrate the things that God is doing already in their lives, even if they don't realize it, with the hope that they will see that they might be participating in a much bigger project. 

Let's me more permission giving than permission asking.  There are so many more great ideas people have if we would let them try it.

Plus, as a great colleague friend of mine said at dinner last week, "You know youth ministry is 90% failure right?"  These students are trying to figure their life out still (so am I!), and why not be in a place that welcomes failure and be there to pick them up and try to make it better, to live a better way of life?

Tags: youth ministry, emerging church, evangelism, concerts

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Youth retreat and Doug Pagitt...

Ok, now I'm at home and have a blog to upload. This is what I typed up before the conference started.

An amazing weekend...…

We just got done with a youth retreat this past weekend. One of the exciting things about the weekend was seeing about 7 of our Wednesday night students, ones that just hang on the street outside of church, wanting nothing to do with it come be with us. It was an interesting dynamic, watching our "regulars" react and interact with them. You could feel the tension when we were there. I wasn't sure what the 7 students were expecting, but most of them really enjoyed themselves. Not only that, but they had a better time than they thought they would, and we had the opportunity to engage in some great conversations about real life stuff.
Many questions were asked, including, "How do you know God is real?" and comments like,
I really need to read the Bible more." So many of these students are looking for something more, something bigger than themselves, so I was pleasantly surprised to see them engage.
Even more than this, was watching our adults be with them. It was incredible how much love displayed by these caring adults. We were supposed to have an access to a heated pool (maybe I'll say something later about that...yea ''its a nice place), but it was broken last weekend, so there was a local laser tag/arcade type place about 20 minutes away, and we took them there. We paid for all of their laser tag and arcade tokens (some of was taken out of the pool fee we charged with registration), and a few of the students walked up to one of our adults and asked them, "Why are you doing this?" He said, "because we care and want you to have a good time."” They sat there in amazement that anybody would do such things.
Doesn't this move you to want to do more? My heart sank when he told me this story. How many of these students have never seen genuine, authentic, agape love put on display in their midst? It makes me excited to continue to be present with these students (not just our Wednesday night ones either), to love them, and show them that living the way of Jesus is the best possible way to live, this way that ushers in the Kingdom in the every day, here and now. Regardless of all of the frustrations I have had lately, it is times like this that I need to capture and come back to of why I do this in the first place.

Today I am at the PA state pastors conference, about to listen to Doug Pagitt. In fact, I just met him face-face. It's just great to meet people in person. Look forward to making some connections here. I do feel a bit weird here, I am curious how many "emergent" influenced people there are (how do I say this right? I just keep trying...). Doug mentioned possibly a dinner with some folks tonight. I hope that can happen.

I'll give you updates of the conference, which is all focused on the emergent church. Doug, Karen Ward, Holly Rankin-Zaher will all be here these next couple of days.

Bob Fisher does a great job of summing up tthoroughence...very thourough. Just check it out if you want to know what was said (see previous post).

As for me, it was great to be able to connect with Doug at dinner on Monday night, something I never thought would ever happen. Went out with him, Keelan Downton, and Scott Bader-Saye. Keelan (what a cool name) is a 26-yr. old theologian with his PhD (sheesh, and I still want to go to seminary at 30) and works with the National Council of Churches as Post-Doctorate Fellow in their Faith and Otheologicalission (the theogical arm of teh NCC). Scott is a professor of theology at the University of Scranton, and is an Episcopal...He did a wonderful job moderating the panel times during the conference.

It was just refreshing to hang with all of these guys, and hear more stories on Solomon's Porch (esp. about losing their facility...just so unfortunate). I had a couple of funny moments with Doug that I wanted to highlight:

1) I am not a Mac user. Doug notices this (since I have my laptop with me). I guess I had antraumaticnt childhood tramatic experience with the Mac since I just hated the one-button mouse. That really was the reason I didn't use Macs (plus lack of software availability). So of course Doug is trying convert me. I think he did some kind of Force hand gesture or something. I was in the conference room with Keelan looking over directions on his Mac to the pub we were going to, and Doug approaches me as I am on my knees looking at the computer, and says, "Hey, looks like your getting started already. You're on your knees before the Mac already." I just roared. If I had money, I just might try a Mac, although I am extremely unfamiliar with them. I had about 4 or 5 try to bring me over to the dark side...:)

2) We were driving back to the hotel and I was asking Doug where he was off to next, and he mentioned the NYWC in Nashville to speak at a general session. Me, in another glorious moment of stupidity, said to Doug, "I just can't imagine you speaking in front of 6,000 people." He then responencouragement for the encouragment!" Can you say MORON?! Yea, another Mike Lamson stupid moment. He then says, "What if I told you it was 7,500? Would that change your opinion?" Yea, I felt dumb. I was just trying to say considering his preaching style, I thought it wdialoguedifficult to dialouge with 7,500 people. But yea, I just felt stupid, but a fugenuinelyt.

I was geninunly touched of how they just asked me to share my story, where God has led me, and continuing to affirm and listen to me dump. I honestly don't get to do that with anybody, save my wife. It was truly the first time I got to expound on the things I've been thinking about with real, live people. It was just freeing.

And saddens me that there is no one around here to do that with on a regular basis. So I guess I will have to resort to virtual land. I did connect with a couple of other UMC pastors that are about 1.5 hours away, but I still wish there was someplace closer.

Regardless, I'm going to try to make the Emergent Balitmore Cohort on Dec. 14th. Brian McClaren is going to be there and I thought I could meet some more people.

I would love to connect with more people who want to discuss things further if you are close to south central PA. I am not finding many people who are wrestling with emergent stuff.

One thing for sure...I can't wait to get to seminary! It's just been killing me! Right now the plan is trying to go next fall to Wesley in DC.

Well, enough for now. I'm going to try to watch Lost with the wife on tape. Love that show!

Grace,

Mike

Ok God...I get it...

It's been pretty difficult here lately, dealing with a lot of crap. Part of that wondering if you're really good at what you do. Sometimes I wonder in youth ministry if I just am not really good at doing this. Soemtimes I wonder if I'm gifted to do this...

Well...last night during our Wednesday night "Refuge," I had conversations with a couple of students about some pretty significant stuff...sex...marriage. It's amazing how many students are so flawed (and hurt) in their thinking about relationships. They had honest (and great) questions.

Even more encouraging was the other thing...there was a neighbor next door who is moving across the country, and needed a ton of help with some boxes. Now, many in our church perceive the "town kids" as lazy, unmotivated, and selfish (which they could be right for the most part), but knowing them for the last year-and-half, I can ask them to help me with anything and they would do it. There is that much respect there. Last night we asked them to help move some boxes with this neighbor. They got up, no questions asked, just went over there and plugged away at it. They had a great time doing it too! It was very encouraging to me.

More encouraging was the fact that our local police said there has been a positive significant change in these students in the last year-and-a-half. I have heard that comment from more church member as well in the last two weeks.

It's in these moments I look at myself and see God smiling at me...with the natural response from me saying, "Ok God...I get it...I'm an idiot."

He is always working, and maybe every once in while He gives us a bigger glimpse on what's going on. Press on.

Grace,

Mike

The Narrow Road...

I know it's been a while, but so many things are going through my brain I don't know what to write down.

I've been listening to a lot of Rob Bell stuff (he has free message downloads from his church.  http://www.mhbcmi.org, check it out).  I paid for a 15-week series (1 buck for each message, pretty cheap) on "Mastering the Art of Living," and it has been really speaking to me.

So many in our churches are content with having a "club" mentality.  Where we have a checklist of things to get in.  I am growing more discontent with these ways every day that I serve here.  It has been an ongoing frustration for years. Now, I know this will always be, but when you are trying to make changes where you want people to walk in the way of Jesus, there is so much resisitance.  Not only that, I find fewer and fewer people here who don't want to walk this way and even worse off, they don't care.

We have this time on Wednesday night where we have about 75-100 students come and hang-out, most of them unchurched.  As is everywhere, we have this problem of having enough adults to monitor the rooms we have setup.  Some students get out of hand, and we just don't have enough manpower to enforce enough.

So there's a few solutions to this:

1) Shut down the rooms you can't monitor more regularly

2) Kick people out who are causing too much trouble

3) Find another alternative (combining rooms, etc...)

4) Be more strict with them and give them a list of do's and don'ts.

There is a strong contingent that wants to choose option 1 or 4.  The last message I want to be sending is that you can't come here.  At the same time people need to exercise more respect.  The problem with that is they receive no model of it at home.  I think you can see the dilemma here.

Here's where I get frustrated.  People are more interested in throwing stones, then coming along side.  There are so many people in our churches who love to complain about stuff, but then they sit back and do nothing to be part of solution.  This is contrary to the way of Jesus.  What happens when you do this (whether it's your intention or not) is that the people who making an effort feel unappreciated for their work, and they don't feel a part of the community as a whole.  It is saying to them, "You're not really doing God's work, because you don't care about [you can fill in the blank here]..."

Is this resonating with you?  I am SO desparate to lead people to follow the way Jesus lives, and grow ever frustrated that not only to most people in our churches not want to do it, but encourage others to do the same thing and call it "God's will,"  or "The 'right' way to do it."

There was a person yesterday who yelled at a kid for running in the hallway (really yelling, where most people felt uncomfortable).  Granted, it wasn't a good thing for him to be running (and man, was he fast!), b/c at that speed he would've killed someone, but the approach was just wrong.  We think we are doing good by "teaching them respect," but are really teaching the opposite by the way we live?

Thank God for my wife.  She has been so real to me about these things in my own life.  I want to live on the narrow road, because I know it's the best possible way to live.  I want as many people to walk it with me, because it breathes life!

I don't know what you're going through, or if you are frustrated at these things, but the best advice that I've read  from the Scriptures and heard is keep doing what you're doing...keep modeling the way of Jesus.  Be real with your own soul, God has something to work on in you as well.

Grace,

Lambo

Posts from the NYWC in Atlanta...

Just wanted to make you aware there are a couple posts below I typed up while at the NYWC.  Enjoy...

Lambo